After Sonny left I sat in the chair and just smoked. It was starting to get light outside. Boy. I felt miserable. I started thinking about Allie and the time I wouldn’t let him come and play with me and Bobby down by Lake Sedebego with are BB guns. I always think about that time when im depressed as hell. So, I went to bed, I felt like praying, but the thing is I cant always just do it. In sort of an atheist, I like Jesus and all but I don’t care much about the other crap in the bible. Anyway I didn’t end up praying, I couldn’t, I kept thinking about old Sunny calling me a crumb-bum.
I heard a knock at the door. I didn’t answer cos’ I was in my pyjamas. But they didn’t
go, so I got up and opened the door. It was Maurice along with Sunny demanding another 5 bucks. I wasn’t going to give it them, Maurice told me 5 not 10, and we didn’t even have sex. Maurice started getting violent and all. He pinned me up against the wall and Sunny took it from my wallet. All of a sudden I started to cry, id give anything if I hadn’t, but I did. Sunny told old Maurice to leave me alone cos’ they had the money. They were about to leave when the sonuva bitch snapped his fingers on my pyjamas, I wont tell you where but it hurt like hell. I started insulting him. He really didn’t like it. Then he smacked me, I didn’t try to duck or anything I just took it. All I felt was a terrific punch in my stomach. I started pretending I was in a movie getting revenge on old Maurice. It killed me. The goddam movies. They can ruin you. I’m not kidding.
It took me a while to get to sleep – I wasn’t even tired – but I finally did. What I really felt like was committing suicide, I felt like jumping outta the goddam window. I would have done as well if somebody would have covered me up as soon as I landed. I didn’t wasn’t a bunch of stupid rubbernecks looking at me when I was all gory.
I heard a knock at the door. I didn’t answer cos’ I was in my pyjamas. But they didn’t
go, so I got up and opened the door. It was Maurice along with Sunny demanding another 5 bucks. I wasn’t going to give it them, Maurice told me 5 not 10, and we didn’t even have sex. Maurice started getting violent and all. He pinned me up against the wall and Sunny took it from my wallet. All of a sudden I started to cry, id give anything if I hadn’t, but I did. Sunny told old Maurice to leave me alone cos’ they had the money. They were about to leave when the sonuva bitch snapped his fingers on my pyjamas, I wont tell you where but it hurt like hell. I started insulting him. He really didn’t like it. Then he smacked me, I didn’t try to duck or anything I just took it. All I felt was a terrific punch in my stomach. I started pretending I was in a movie getting revenge on old Maurice. It killed me. The goddam movies. They can ruin you. I’m not kidding.It took me a while to get to sleep – I wasn’t even tired – but I finally did. What I really felt like was committing suicide, I felt like jumping outta the goddam window. I would have done as well if somebody would have covered me up as soon as I landed. I didn’t wasn’t a bunch of stupid rubbernecks looking at me when I was all gory.
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